My lords, my ladies - and everybody else here not sitting on a cushion! Today… today, you find yourselves equals. For you are all equally blessed. For I have the pride, the privilege - nay, the pleasure - of introducing to you to a knight, sired by knights. A knight who can trace his lineage back beyond Charlemagne! I first met him atop a mountain near Jerusalem, praying to God, asking his forgiveness for the Saracen blood spilt by his sword. Next, he amazed me still further in Italy when he saved a fatherless beauty from the would-be ravishing of her dreadful Turkish uncle. In Greece, he spent a year in silence… just to better understand the sound… of a whisper. And so without further gilding the lily and with no more ado, I give to you, the seeker of serenity, the protector of Italian virginity, the enforcer of our Lord God, the one, the only, Sir Ullllllllllrrrich von Lichtenstein!