HOW TO BE A PIRATE

I’m looking for a show to download.

I applaud your spare time. Check the masterpost for the show you want (most “tumblr popular” shows are there), and if it’s not there, feel free to request in my ask. For current shows/episodes that have aired in the last few weeks, check the downloads tag.

I’m looking for a movie to download.

Check the downloads tag. If it’s not there, request away in my ask. I don’t care if you’re anonymous or not, but if you ask for a lot of things/something really specific, it’s helpful if I can answer via your ask.

What sites am I downloading from/are they safe?

As much as possible I’ll link you to Megaupload for avi files, which is one of the most used download sites. For music it’s often Mediafire that’s used, and occasionally links may be hosted by Sendspace, Filesonic, Fileserve ect. Links from these sites are safe like, 98% of the time. I’m not gonna link you to something I know is a virus.

A good way to check on Megaupload if the file is correct is by clicking the “view on megavideo” link:

which will stream the exact file for you. I always check files this way before I link them.

Additionally, your firewall/browser will scan everything you download for viruses.

Do you do music/comics/ebook/software requests?

Yep! Ask for your deepest desire and I’ll look for you.

What’s an .abc/.mdj file?

If you download something and its extension says .abc or .mdj, don’t worry! It’s not corrupt and it’s perfectly watchable, and you haven’t wasted 350mb for nothing. To avoid links being taken down some people change .avi extensions to .abc/.mdj, so all you have to do is change the extension back to .avi and watch away! (Sometimes your computer will ask you to confirm this change; just click “ok”).

You haven’t answered my ask/are you ever going to answer/hurry up and answer me

As much as I would like to sit here shooting out download links like a man shooting out tshirts at a sporting event, I can’t. And even if I could, I wouldn’t, because this is a personal blog, and I like to post about stuff that interests me, so that’s what I do.

Don’t think I’m ignoring you, because I’m not. I am inundated with requests every day, and I answer them when it strikes my fancy. If you’re rude, chances are I won’t like you, because I’m nasty and temperamental like that, so keep it at a strained politeness at least, por favor.

THAT BEING SAID, if you’re absolutely desperate/need something for an assignment/the world is going to blow up if you can’t get a link in the next 24 hours, I’ll answer you right away.

How do you find all these links? Are you a genie?

You know how some people play sports, or collect stamps, or learn random facts about their favourite celebrities, or build model homes out of toothpicks? Well, I watch tv. And because I live in Australia, aka South Boiling Nowhere, I get my shows via le internet. I’ve been doing it for years now and I’ve just gotten really, really good at it.

I peruse various communities and search sites and forums, and, of course, the old standby Google. But the magic is ruined if a magician reveals his tricks, no?

I need a file to play on my ipod/do you have this in mp4?

Avi files can’t play on ipods. It’s partly because they can’t play in QuickTime and partly because iTunes is a little bitch. What you need to do is convert your file to mp4. There’s lots of programs to do this - for windows I use WinAvi, and for Mac I use Miro. Once you get them it’s easy, you just drag and drop your file and it’ll convert for you. And if you can’t/don’t want to do that, I can look for an .mp4 dl for you.

How do i read comics on my computer?

Comics are usually .cbz files, which is a standard comic format. You can read them by using comic software, like CDisplay for Windows or FFView for Mac. If you don’t want to use a comic program, just click on the .cbz file, use your usual unzipping program to open it, and you’ll see a list of .jpgs that make up the .cbz file. From there you can extract the normal way and view the images in any program you like.

So you’ve asked for something I’ve already posted…

I’ve said it about twenty thousand times, CHECK THE DOWNLOADS TAG AND MASTERLIST. I’LL KNOW IF YOU HAVEN’T. AND I WON’T ANSWER YOU. AND YOU’LL MAKE ME ANGRY. DISHONOUR ON YOUR FAMILY. DISHONOUR ON YOUR COW.

The link for _____ is broken/leads to a different file

Tell me, and I’ll fix it! Then head back to the ORIGINAL POST (on my page, not a reblog) and download the new and fresh link I’ve replaced it with.

Talk to me about CAM rips

If you’re looking to be a SuperPirate and watch movies that are still in cinemas, then most likely the link I’ll provide will be a cam. As a rule I won’t post anything less than TS, which is a higher quality cam, and if I can find it, r5, which is even better.. If you can’t stand anything below DVD quality, I wouldn’t recommend downloading it. A good way to watch cams is to convert them to mp4 and watch them on your ipod. If you watch it on a smaller screen the lower quality will be less apparent.

Occasionally (and especially around Oscar season) I’ll be able to find a DVD screener, which will be DVD quality.

I’ve got beef with you/you aren’t doing this properly/I drank some haterade this morning

If you don’t like me, that’s cool. It’s really nothing to do with me or the show I’m running, so shine on, sweet diamond.

What are torrents/how do I use them/what’s the difference between them and direct links?

Torrents are simply a different way to download files. You download them via a torrent manager, like Vuze (which is what I use). After you’ve gotten a program to manage them, go to a torrent site (I use Eztv for television shows and piratebay for general everything/movies), click on the torrent you want, and voila! It will go straight into your download program and begin downloading, and you don’t have to do anything!

Torrenting is good for mass downloading (for example, whole seasons at a time). You can leave it to download during the day or overnight and it’ll just go on its merry way. Also, if your internet cuts out, torrents won’t lose what they’ve already downloaded to your computer, unlike direct files.

However, torrents can be a lot slower than direct download. When you download a torrent, in essence you’re peer to peer sharing - which means you’re not just downloading from one source, like you do on megaupload, but from the source AND all the people who are downloading it as well. If a lot of people are downloading a torrent it can be slow, and if there’s almost no people downloading a torrent you may not be able to get it.

All in all, torrenting is just a different way to get the shit you want. Once you get used to it it’s really quite simple!

What’s a .rar file/what do I do with it?

.rar is just a compressed file extension, exactly like .zip. The only difference between them is that .rar files can only be opened by the program WinRar on PC or a program like Rar Expander for Mac. I would highly recommend downloading software that can extract .rar files, because you’re going to come across them more than once if you’re downloading files.

Will you make a Glee post?

NO. I will never make a Glee post. It will not matter if you beg me or curse me to be an ugly spinster, I won’t make one. For those with an inclination to pursue this topic, my thoughts on Glee can be found here.

I think that’s it! If you’ve any questions that haven’t been answered, please feel free to join the party in my ask box. But most of all, ENJOY. Everyone should be able to watch the shows that they love. Fight spatial inequality!